There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
