He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
