He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
