i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
