ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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