I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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