Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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