I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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