Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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