I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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