She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
40s are totally the cure
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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