I cannot find my penis.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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