I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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