We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
