He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
