she smelled like a LAN party
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I am naked and annoyed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
