But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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