I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
