Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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