Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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