I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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