did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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