The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
