Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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