Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
