the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
