You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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