Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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