Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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