Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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