I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
