walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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