so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
