He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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