dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
