you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
