Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
