there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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