its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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