I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
