I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
