everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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