Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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