if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
