Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
