The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
