Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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