so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
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