$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
