i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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