saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
