I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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