I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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