Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize