I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
