having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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