Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
