The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
