You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
