Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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