He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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