I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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