who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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